But for us and where we’re at in our marriage right now, it took me from being anorgasmic and low/no libido to now having a way higher libido than my husband and us feeling WAY more connected and intimate and passionate during sex, even being able to orgasm simultaneously which I’ve discovered is an extremely intimate and unifying experience. You cannot achieve this instantly when you are in bed because it starts from how you go about your daily activities with her.

With Xaviera as a muse and guide, this unique playbook promises to be a go-to Saturday night special!Women will also complain all day long about the men who choose to become consumers of the visual sex these women are willingly putting out there to be consumed, but they would never complain that women are also at fault for creating such a large and varied supply to be consumed. It was spot-on in the part that it was easy for me to show love to my husband but respect didn’t come naturally.

He lamented that the problem with men is that they don’t look past the one clit—they don’t see that women have three clits. However, I did read out several sentences of the book to NewMan (my Aussie boyfriend who feigns passionate disinterest in women's affairs/rants) who genuinely chuckled along and I really don't think it would do men any harm to pick this book up, gloss over the bit where she talks about wearing her Mum's knickers and soak up some of the more insightful observations she makes about women in porn, post-modernist feminism and female role models. I was delighted with his metaphor because it put an exclamation point on my theory—you can’t just tease the body, you have to tease her mind and heart as well. They had heard teaching for years about how women needed to give sex, but never any teaching on a woman’s sexual response.Now, for the first time, two long-term partners, both bestselling authors and sex and marriage therapists, have come together to produce the ultimate guides to making love, for men and for women. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them.

In the section of the book that talks about women’s needs, sex is never mentioned as a need (helping her feel good during sex is never mentioned as a need, either). My husband always says that it’s not the physical release that he needs–it’s that feeling that we’re close, and that I want to be close. The Lord has had me on a journey that has been covering a lot of this same ground over the same six+ months, but you have encapsulated it perfectly.This is extremely unhealthy–for the marriage; for the wife’s heart; but also for the husband’s soul. There is something intangible in the thoughts and feelings of women - depicted in conversational snippets within - that goes beyond all "common wisdom" relating to making love. If your husband feels you do not respect his struggle, his desire for you, and his maleness, he’ll pull back from you. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. And so he found another woman who didn’t mind being objectified…Well, pursued, which at the beginning of a relationship makes you feel not objectified and hides the true nature of the man’s motive….

The books redeeming quality is that it seems to be accurate information, with many references to the Kinsey report and the Hitte report (both of which I loved. But I want to comment here on the overarching theme that men will stray and be tempted if they don’t get physical release. A neglected housewife makes an unexpected friend at a nursing home, where she hears a true tale about an independent woman in 1920s Alabama, who ran the town diner, served food to people of color and protected her sister-in-law from an abusive spouse. But often in the same breath women will begrudge men for supposedly taking advantage of the women who willingly sell themselves in this way. Barbara Keesling tells men and women the simple secret that can give couples unmatched pleasure for years.However, I wasn't surprised to read in the Postscript that the book was written in a matter of months and I have to say as much as she thanks her editor, more could have been done to avoid lazy instances of repetition and to ensure consistency (not that I suggest that everything I've written on this blog achieves this - but then I don't have a professional editor glancing over my shoulder). I myself no longer want to think about the inferiority of women any more, I'm trying to steer clear of that belief. The act of knowing how to make love to a woman entails that it is more about them than you if you are a man.